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[09 May 2008|02:35pm] why is it so hard to just be a loner? evacu   (06)   ation

sun turns silver [13 Apr 2008|10:31pm] a dream life once concreted around gold and honey lay broken in the street a monument too tall for its foundation didnt you see it in the ruins of an ugly past and forecasts of the daily plans it shrined the abuse shined and diffused through every fallow soul you can feel it in your bones on the long drive home the house of moon has risen theres no better day in the history of strife every eve has its place when the sun turns silver evacu   (01)   ation

[05 Oct 2007|01:21am] so ive been doing a lot of nothing lately, and working... which is probably included in nothing. but besides that i've been trying to ignore all the pop culture bullshit that pops up in daily life whether you want to acknowledge it or not, mostly due to my cancerous tv watching habits. doing more soul searching, like always, and it seems like the more that i accept as fact the more i realize how wrong i am doing everything. like i know for absolute fact that my life is not meant to be lived out in a pointless profit sucking store, yet i feel like i'm just waiting for the right moment to make my move which never happens, it just never happens. i guess i just want to be whisked away to some place where i know everything is perfect and there is nothing i need to do or say to be accepted. i really do feel like that will be the reality in the future, but its not like my happiness is dependent on other people, it just helps you know? i feel like i have to do something i just dont know what that is. i dont really even care about sex anymore, it just doesn't seem important. its almost like i'm waiting for the moment when everything clicks into place and i know, i just know that its all fine from here on out. like the hard part is over, no more pain for anyone all over the planet. but sometimes that just feels like its a million years away. evacu   (04)   ation

[01 Jun 2007|01:13pm] will i ever know whats really there in that space where phantoms fly above reason and the vacuum holed smiles with pearly white pearls reverse their emotional bondage to freedom will i ever see then when i heard you say: there is nothing new under the sun everything then is the same    it was like a    a macrocosmic bullet    to my microscopic brain ation

lite-brite [27 May 2007|09:05am] we're pushed and we're pulled within the same motion something hidden then revealed cant even be seen when its inside yourself like your heart always running on automatic life support if we lose love for one second reality collapses i want to return the favor give thanks for the years of labor i hear it's better than recieving but where do i find the motivation? feels like i'm sleeping all day long and the science of waking up leaves me cold feeling guilty arguing with your body is a hard fight to win i want to kindle this spark and garb my heart in lightness i'll slough off these chains and dive into the brightness ation

a slighted recounting [25 May 2007|12:20am] in my books i read of different things hard and hot as summer to my brain concrete foreign ideals in raw form then absorbing slightly likely to melting icicles in the spring ideas make mountains     peaking upper atmospheres sentences the streams     carving as they snake throughout faceting foundations for my dreams a beautiful scene at first fogged with unassuming air      but he's too meek to speak about it         he's far too quiet to share ation

[23 May 2007|10:44am] I laced my boots and started walking and walking under a bright sky morning and felt nothing I remember the days spent on searching waiting for the light to come find me though the lies and the years with goat headed hell punished fears I never bought into those wisdoms from the merchants peddling their tortured freedom but now its all in front of me a verticle road balanced perfectly so I keep walking under this night sky dawning and try to feel something ation

[15 May 2007|01:36am] In this epic of life velocity struggles degradation people die in strife fighting for solid aspirations but the heads poke though their hearts rich as gold spend it well little ones its worth more than you know after the fall was the greatest separation the pain in it all left us combating suffocation but we can stand up again and look for the ladder take the noose off our necks real life to chase after evacu   (02)   ation

[13 May 2007|11:11pm] you want change? there is change, perspective definetly morality maybe what you want is what you get quick burst of passion its yours too bad its not lasting like orbit want to be sad sure happy needs work procrastination ill be happy tomorrow, or when this happens or that or when i take fifty hundred cat naps still tierd, and worn and i was born to be scorned im jello in the hands of some imaginary power but this thought is for sad reverse our natural desires not for us for all "we all crawl out by ourselves" true that, james mercer. ation

[13 May 2007|12:55am] the tailored rags from needled hands will hold us as we sojourn on, exiled from love on her brightest depiction buckled our frowns and voided ourselves too naive to simply reach for the blinders grazed in rained pasture from the wept sky grayed never full, never found the right way still hunting for some cartography laid out in a subtle array concealed for those who can't be afraid of the unity and the infinity evacu   (01)   ation

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